Date One
Mason (#3) and I went on two dates, which took place amidst endless texting and long conversations. He was very intelligent, caring, considerate, and definitely seemed to also want a long-term relationship. Another pro was that Mason had a stable, good job (which is unfortunately rare in Las Vegas). He seemed ideal.I was so nervous before our first date that I annoyed the crap out of my buddy Topher. Seriously, I think Topher started to question his decision to befriend yet another chick. Here are the vitals about Mason that Topher had to listen to ad nauseam:
- Claimed Age: 39
- Ginger
- Physicist
- Claimed Height: 6'2
Being a very considerate guy, Mason had chosen my favorite restaurant for our first date. When I arrived a few minutes early at the tiny ramen joint, Mason was already there. He was sitting outside, slumped on a bench, chatting with a homeless guy. I liked that he would talk to anyone, because I'd befriended a homeless guy on The Hill in DC whom I'd chat with at lunch breaks.
I stood next to him for a second while they finished their conversation. Mason stood up and stepped back from me as he smiled and said hello. "Did you put our name down for a table?" I asked. He said no, so we went inside. When we were seated and had our ramen in front of us, we both realized that hot soup on a 110-degree day is not the best option. Picking at our food, Mason and I tried to talk in the noisy restaurant. We both ended up abandoning our food and leaving within 15 minutes, because it was just too warm.
We sat outside on the bench talking for half an hour, during which time he gawked, slack-jawed at a girl's breasts. When he saw me notice, he blushed and looked away, which was funny. It's Vegas: ladies have their cleavage not just out, but poised on the podium of a bustier top; who cares? After that awkward second, Mason seemed uncomfortable and we decided to leave. He walked me to my car, and stood next to me talking for about five minutes. I smiled at him and shrugged eventually, and said goodbye.
Within a minute of driving away, Mason text and asked if we could go out again. I agreed, and we continued texting all day, everyday.
Date Two
Mason brought up our second date several times without ever making a concrete plan, so I decided to take initiative. I asked if Thursday worked, and he said yes. I asked if 7pm worked, and he said yes. I asked where he'd like to go, and he had no ideas. Seriously. In a city that's built to entertain tourists, you should have a few ideas. I chose a venue, and he said okay. The night before our date I text him and said I'd meet him at the creek by Crave, and he said okay.
Because he hadn't kissed me on our first date, I decided to look more enticing. I wore a cute sundress, left my hair wavy, and made sure I was showing a little cleavage ("church cleavage" by Vegas' standards). When I arrived a few minutes early, I sat on the bench by the creek and started playing on my phone.
Ten minutes after 7pm, I text Mason and said to let me know when he arrived, in case he was lost. He responded immediately that he was already here. Sure enough, he was sitting on a bench within plain sight of me. I really don't know if he didn't recognize me, or if he was too shy to come over, or if he arrived and just sat down without bothering to see if I'd arrived first. It seemed odd.
When I stood and walked over to him, he didn't register surprise or happiness on his face. He just smiled a little and said hello. I asked if he was hungry, and he said no (even though we were supposed to meet for dinner). At that point, I felt pretty awkward. "Do you want to walk around the mall?" He nodded and started walking in his old, somewhat dirty sneakers. His old school comic book t-shirt was cute, but the combination of that with dad shorts, high socks, and dirty sneakers did not speak of romantic dates and seduction.
As we walked around the mall we spoke awkwardly and had a lot of pauses. Eventually, more out of awkwardness and boredom than hunger, Mason decided he was hungry and we went to dinner. The meal was not much better, but we did have a few interesting conversations about science. When we were done, Mason got both of our meals wrapped up for himself and took them with him.
He walked me to my car, again. We loitered at my car for five or ten minutes while I became disinterested in him mustering up the courage to kiss me. Finally, I shrugged and turned away as I said goodnight. "Wait. Do you want to go out again?" Mason asked. My reaction was somewhere between, "Uh, sure" and, "(sigh) Okay." Maybe I'm a bitch, but why would a guy take me out twice and not kiss me, and still want a third date?
Date Three
Clearly, there was no date three. Topher tried to talk me into giving Mason another chance, but I declined. That's when it got really interesting. Mason called, texted, and left messages frantically. All in all, he left about six voicemails and 14 text messages before he gave up. It surprised me that a guy who seemed so blasé and uninterested was, in fact, pretty interested.
Here are Mason's finishing vitals:
Here are Mason's finishing vitals:
- Actual Age: 39
- Ginger
- Physicist
- Painfully Shy
- Actual Height: 6'2
If he'd just kissed me on one of the two dates, I would've given him a chance and really tried to get him out of his shell, but his total lack of assertion was just too much of a turn off. It took me both dates and a few extra hours to put my finger on the problem; it was definitely his disconnectedness: it's impossible to establish a connection with someone who doesn't even seem to get himself, let alone you.